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I'm sorry.
Friday, January 25, 2008 10:25 PM
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I can't believe I'm crying as I'm typing this.
So unbelievable.

I know this is long story.
But I have to clarify things clearly alright? :(

18.1.08 : 7.32pm.
Oh where has my humanity gone to?
I just did the most stupidiest thing of my life.
Accepted Nigel, which I know it's the wrong thing to do so.
I'm attached deeply to my dearest since 31 August'07.
He was always on my mind.
But how foolish I was, just because of afew sweetened words.
I completely forgotten my dearest.
I left him in despair.
I ignored him.
I'm sucha freak.
I didn't tell dearest at all.

Things happened smoothly.
I had fun with Nigel.
He treated me very well.
I still didn't tell dearest. I didn't dare to.
I lied. Saying he's only a friend in habbo.
Which he isn't.
I kept so much things from dearest.
Somehow,I know he knows about it,
but he just remain quiet.

As usual.
I lied to dearest.
I became a two timer.
Dearest just feel abandoned and upset.
He smsed me : "Okay lor. :l, see your replies like not enthusiatic liddat :l"
I felt guilty.
But I didn't say anything about Nigel still.

Met dearest at ICA building.
He was so happy to see me.
I felt my heart ached.
I continued lying.
It seems right that time.
Nigel texted me.
Dearest saw it.
I tried to cover up and didn't reply Nigel's sms.
I still showered love to dearest.
Dearest knew about Nigel was 'bothering' me.
He offered to ask him to stop,
but I refused.
I smsed Nigel.
He too, was so glad to receive my sms.

Nigel went for sec3 camp.
I didn't sms him, nor he.
I lied to dearest.
Saying he didn't 'disturb' me anymore.
That 3 days made me realised that I miss Dearest so much.
I really do. I tried to find time to accompany him.
He was so happy.
I was, too as well.

26.1.08: 2pm : Today
Nigel came back yesterday at night.
He smsed me, but I refused to reply.
I asked him for a break.
He was upset, but I have to.
I explained to dearest.
He forgave me.
I can't believe it.
I started crying non-stop.
I cheated on him, he still loves me.
you're such a bitch.
Thanks for breaking his heart.
Thanks for using him.
He still belives and loves you.
How could you!?!
You don't fit to be his anymore.
He has an option of leaving you,
but he chose no to, cos he loves you so deeply.

it is too late?

I didn’t mean it when I said.
I didn’t love you so.
I should have held on tight.
I never should have let you go.
I didn’t know nothing,I was stupid, I was foolish.
I was lying to myself.
I couldn’t have fathomed.
I would ever be without your love.
Never imagined I’d be sitting here beside myself.
Guess I didn’t know you.
Guess I didn’t know me.
But I thought I knew everything.

The feeling that I’m feeling
Now that I don’t hear your voice.
Or have your touch and kiss your lips.
Cause I don’t have a choice.
Oh what I wouldn’t give.
To have you lying by my side.
Right here cause baby.
When you left I lost a part of me.
It’s still so hard to believe.
Come back baby please 'cause
We belong together.
Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough?
Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up?
Who’s gonna take your place?
There ain’t nobody better,
Oh baby baby,We belong together.

I'm sorry dear, please come back to me.