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Hi I'm Rid and hi. I do random vlogs, do check them out.

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what a time to lose my exquisite happiness.
Friday, March 7, 2008 3:42 AM
kay people.
Riduan here.
fyi,dear created her own personal blog out of her own prerogative.
So this shall be my own blog.
Yea,okay.
Ask Her in msn or smth, for her blog.

Okay.
i'll start by saying
....
fuck


yes,now interpret how I'm feeling right now with that word FUCK.
Incensed,exacarbated,furious,neglected,demoralised.

Oh,and There's Load of Shits Coming in too,I'm Just lazy to list them down.

Redundant Depressions.
They Seriously are Redundant,
But they just occurs.
And Majority of my depressions are all associated with dear.
I'm not saying that dear's the one giving me the problem,
it's that.. she's facing dire consequences,like...ugh.
all i can do is be there to watch like some idle boy who doesn't care.
well I'm fucking trying my best to excel in whatever i do.
Remorse Comes in.

Sports,Studies,cca and my biggest concern,dear.
I tried juggling them.
who said it was Easy to juggle them simultaneously?
I'm fucking trying My Very best to excel in those.
fuck.
4x100 was not copacetic
why?
Me.
Me.
All me lah.




I feel neglected At the same time.
I don't feel loved at all,somehow..
I don't mean to Hurt you.
I'm just saying what i feel..
Because of that incident,we Just happened to be emotionally distant.
It Took a toll and tainted our love.
yea,we reconciled but I don't know what's fucking happening to me that cause me to say that.
I seriously felt that heartache.
I desperately need to see you,
Make my heart amend to it's exquisite happiness state.
And...I'm Afraid..that..we might...ugh.


Now I'm Like the Most-wanted-person in my oh-so-uninteresting cca.
I can't be fucked that much to be in it already
I don't care if throwing my cca points away is a deficient thing to do.
I DONT FUCKING CARE.
YOU CAN GO EAT PORK WITH THE REST WHEN YOU'RE INVITING THEM TO YOUR HOUSE,I'M FINE WITH THAT.

Isolation does cause insanity,but who cares?
I just..wanna disconnect my heart and soul from my body.
Fly freely,out of my own prerogative.
fly to nowhere and be a loner.


CAUSE IM FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE..


"Dark in their hearts,I can feel it burn inside of me
Tormented young with no souls, haunting me
Pain in their lives all they know is misery,
Take these chains away,
that are holding me down holding me down."

Ugh,I feel as though there's something annihilating all my Happiness in my heart.

Update: I'm okay with her,after a phone call.