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Saturday, May 3, 2008 8:31 AM
"the more solemn you are about your goals,the more it hurts?"

Blissful and painful,simultaneously.

I just wanna show everyone one that I can excel in my studies.);
My dad,especially.

This was my most solemn-est promise I made to myself eversince Secondary 1.
Oh no,
Maybe even when I was at the hall of my primary school holding my results slip with an aggregate of 171.

Because seeing most of my friends going to the express stream made felt envious.
I felt left out, to be honest.

The promise that I made,has not obliterate from my heart eversince.
I tried my very best when I was in secondary 1,
I tried my very best when I was in secondary 2 as well.
Only to find myself being in NA at the end of secondary 2,
as my percentage didn't met the obligations of the express.
68.7%,I Still fucking remember the percentage.

The Dejected feeling.
The crumple on your face.
How it sucks when people asked you the obvious question,
"I thought you wanted to go express?"
The animosity for myself for not working hard.

I even remembered that I fucking walked from Springfield sec,
all the way to my home during fasting month when it was after EOY of sec 1
teacher said no one went to express.
If anyone think this is absurd,then fuck off.

I Was hurt and envious somehow,but the emotions felt were utterly futile.
So without any options left,
I have to accept the fact that I have to work hard to go sec 5 is my one and only choice left.

Bee,I hope you understand why I am neglecting you these days.
I know that you're feeling lonely,
I know that feeling because I'm feeling it too okay? :'/.

Bee,I just want you to know that whatever I'm doing right now,It's for your sake.
It's for you,Because you're my source of inspiration eversince I met you.

Bee,I don't want to lose you after all the love we made.
I'm literally crying in my heart every single time I miss you.
I'm yearning for you every single second,
My efficacious remedy.

give me time okay? :'l
I promise to repay it all back to you.
I promise :'l.

don't go away,I need you :'l.